Veteran Mental Health: Understanding, Supporting, and Healing for Women Who Served

Veteran Mental Health
Veteran Mental Health

You’ve served your country with strength and resilience—but now you may be facing a new kind of battle. For many women veterans, the transition to civilian life brings a wave of invisible challenges: post-traumatic stress, anxiety, depression, and even addiction. At Anchored Tides Recovery in Huntington Beach, we recognize that mental health for veterans is not one-size-fits-all—especially for women. You deserve support that understands both where you’ve been and where you want to go.

What Mental Health Challenges Do Veterans Face?

Veterans are at increased risk for mental health conditions due to exposure to combat, trauma, military sexual assault, and the stress of reintegration. Common struggles include:

  • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
  • Depression and suicidal ideation
  • Anxiety disorders
  • Substance use disorders
  • Co-occurring conditions (dual diagnosis)

These issues can be intensified in female veterans, who often feel overlooked in male-dominated veteran services. Learn more about PTSD symptoms in women and how these symptoms can manifest differently.

The Unique Mental Health Needs of Women Veterans

Women veterans face a unique intersection of military trauma, identity challenges, and mental health stigma. Some contributing factors include:

  • Military sexual trauma (MST)
  • Gender discrimination or isolation during service
  • Difficulty finding female-focused support
  • Balancing motherhood or family with recovery

At Anchored Tides Recovery, we provide trauma-informed care for women to address the deep emotional wounds that can follow military service.

PTSD and Addiction: A Common Link in Veterans

Veterans living with unprocessed trauma may turn to drugs or alcohol as a coping mechanism. This pattern is known as a dual diagnosis—when someone experiences both a mental health condition and substance use disorder.

Learn more about the connection between PTSD and addiction and how our integrated approach to dual diagnosis treatment for women can support long-term healing.

Why Mental Health Support for Veterans Matters

Untreated mental health issues can affect every part of a veteran’s life—relationships, employment, parenting, and overall well-being. Early intervention and specialized treatment can:

  • Improve emotional regulation and daily functioning
  • Reduce self-harm and suicidal ideation
  • Help rebuild a sense of identity and purpose
  • Foster deeper connection with family and community

We understand that healing looks different for everyone, and we’re here to meet you where you are.

Where Can Women Veterans Get Mental Health Treatment?

Anchored Tides Recovery is proud to offer a dedicated Veteran and Military Rehabilitation Program for women. Our team provides:

  • Evidence-based therapy tailored to military trauma
  • Holistic care including yoga, mindfulness, and group support
  • Peer support with other women who understand the military experience
  • Flexible levels of care: PHP, IOP, and outpatient support

We also offer specialized women’s drug rehab for those working through addiction and trauma simultaneously.

How to Know If You or a Loved One Needs Help

If you or someone you love is a veteran struggling with mood swings, sleep issues, substance use, or emotional numbness, it may be time to reach out.

Some voice search-style questions we often hear:

  • “Where can I get mental health treatment as a woman veteran?”
  • “What are the signs of PTSD in female veterans?”
  • “How do I help a veteran with addiction and depression?”

Our blog on PTSD and addiction in women can help you recognize the warning signs.

Ending the Stigma for Women Veterans

Many veterans—especially women—feel pressure to stay silent about mental health struggles. But healing starts by breaking that silence.

Read more on the stigmas of mental health and addiction and how Anchored Tides is working to shift the narrative through education, empathy, and empowerment.

Looking for veteran rehab - Anchored Tides Recovery in Orange County

Start Your Healing Journey Today

You’ve carried the weight of your service long enough. Now, it’s time to carry something lighter: hope, support, and recovery.

Whether you’re looking for trauma-informed therapy, substance use support, or just a safe place to talk—we’re here.

Looking for veteran rehab in Southern California?

Contact us to learn more about our women-centered veteran mental health programs.

Do You Prefer to talk?

📞 Call us at 866-329-6639 to speak with a care coordinator today.

Postpartum Depression: Understanding the Signs, Causes, and Treatment Options

Postpartum Depression - Anchored Tides Recovery - Outpatient Programs for Mental Health
Postpartum Depression - Anchored Tides Recovery - Outpatient Programs for Mental Health

If you’re feeling unusually sad, overwhelmed, or disconnected after having a baby, you’re not alone.

Feeling off since giving birth? If you’re in Southern California and looking for answers, our women’s mental health specialists in Orange County are here to help—without judgment, just support.

Reach out to us today. Many women experience mood changes after childbirth, but when these feelings persist or worsen, it might be more than just the “baby blues.” This could be a sign of postpartum depression (PPD). At Anchored Tides Recovery, we believe that mental health support is just as essential as physical recovery after birth. You’re not weak for needing help—you’re human.

What Is Postpartum Depression?

Postpartum depression is a serious but treatable mental health condition that affects women after childbirth. It’s more intense and longer-lasting than typical baby blues, which usually fade within two weeks. PPD can interfere with your ability to care for your baby and yourself.

When Does Postpartum Depression Start?

PPD can begin anywhere from a few days to several months after giving birth. It most commonly starts within the first few weeks postpartum, but some women don’t experience symptoms until later in the first year.

Signs and Symptoms of Postpartum Depression

Wondering how to know if you have postpartum depression? Common signs include:

  • Persistent sadness or crying
  • Extreme fatigue or lack of energy
  • Difficulty bonding with your baby
  • Feelings of worthlessness, guilt, or hopelessness
  • Loss of interest in things you used to enjoy
  • Anxiety or panic attacks
  • Difficulty sleeping (even when the baby sleeps)
  • Changes in appetite
  • Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby (seek help immediately if you experience this)

If you’re searching “what are the symptoms of postpartum depression,” these are the red flags to watch for.

Postpartum Depression vs. Baby Blues

The baby blues are common, affecting up to 80% of new moms. They include mood swings, irritability, and weepiness but usually go away within two weeks. PPD is more severe, lasts longer, and needs professional support to resolve.

What Causes Postpartum Depression?

There isn’t a single cause of PPD. Instead, it’s often a mix of:

  • Hormonal changes (a sharp drop in estrogen and progesterone)
  • Sleep deprivation
  • Emotional factors (identity shifts, feeling overwhelmed)
  • History of depression or anxiety
  • Lack of support system

Postpartum Depression and Anxiety

PPD and postpartum anxiety often go hand in hand. Some women experience intense worry, racing thoughts, or physical symptoms like a rapid heartbeat. You might be constantly asking, “Am I doing everything wrong?” or feeling terrified something bad will happen.

Male Postpartum Depression

Can Men Get Postpartum Depression?

Surprisingly, yes. Men can experience PPD, too. While less common, fathers may struggle with feelings of isolation, stress, and sadness after a baby is born. Supporting dads is just as important for the well-being of the entire family.

How Long Does Postpartum Depression Last?

If untreated, PPD can last for months or even longer. With the right care, many people start to feel better within weeks to months. Early intervention leads to quicker recovery.

How to Treat Postpartum Depression

Treatment depends on the severity of your symptoms. Common options include:

  • Therapy: Speaking with a postpartum depression therapist near you can help you process emotions and build coping strategies.
  • Support groups: Connecting with others going through the same thing can ease isolation.
  • Medication: Antidepressants may be prescribed, especially if symptoms are moderate to severe.
  • Holistic options: Nutritional support, gentle exercise, and mindfulness practices.

At Anchored Tides Recovery, we offer postpartum depression treatment in Orange County designed with women’s mental health in mind.

How to Prevent Postpartum Depression

While it can’t always be prevented, there are steps you can take:

  • Create a postpartum support plan
  • Ask for help—don’t wait until you’re overwhelmed
  • Get as much rest as possible
  • Prioritize healthy meals and hydration
  • Stay connected with loved ones or support groups
  • Talk to a therapist during pregnancy if you have a history of depression or anxiety

Can You Have Postpartum Depression After a Miscarriage?

Yes. Postpartum depression after a miscarriage is real and valid. The hormonal and emotional toll of pregnancy loss can trigger symptoms similar to PPD. Healing from miscarriage involves both physical and emotional care.

When to Seek Help: Listening to Your Inner Voice

If you’ve been feeling off, overwhelmed, or not like yourself, it’s worth paying attention. You don’t have to wait until things get worse to reach out for support. Sometimes just acknowledging, “Something doesn’t feel right,” is the first step toward healing.

Here are some common questions we hear from women just like you:

  • “How can I tell if this is postpartum depression or just baby blues?”
  • “Is there a natural way to treat postpartum depression?”
  • “Where can I find a postpartum therapist near me?”

Trust your instincts. If you’re wondering whether you need help, it’s okay to ask for it. You’re not alone, and you don’t have to navigate this on your own.

Postpartum Depression vs. Baby Blues

The baby blues are common, affecting up to 80% of new moms. They include mood swings, irritability, and weepiness but usually go away within two weeks. PPD is more severe, lasts longer, and needs professional support to resolve.

Postpartum Depression Treatment Near You

You deserve support that understands your unique journey. At Anchored Tides Recovery, we offer postpartum depression treatment designed for women in Orange County and the greater Southern California area. Whether you’re a new mom in Huntington Beach, Irvine, or nearby, we’re here for you.

Find local support today. Whether you’re a first-time mom or navigating postpartum depression after miscarriage, we’re here for you.

Ready to talk? Need someone to talk to now? Speak with a therapist who understands postpartum depression—right here in Orange County.

📞 Call us at 866-329-6639 or send a confidential message. Healing starts with one step—we’ll walk with you the rest of the way.

How to Talk to Your Family About Starting Medication-Assisted Treatment

How to Talk to Your Family About Starting Medication-Assisted Treatment
How to Talk to Your Family About Starting Medication-Assisted Treatment

Deciding to start Medication-Assisted Treatment (MAT) is a big step in your recovery journey, and talking to your family about it can feel overwhelming. You might be wondering, “How do I talk to my family about Medication-Assisted Treatment?” This conversation can feel intimidating, but it’s a crucial step in gaining support and strengthening your recovery. You might worry about judgment, misunderstandings, or resistance. But having this conversation can help build support and strengthen your recovery.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you navigate the conversation in a way that promotes understanding and encourages family support.

What Is Medication-Assisted Treatment (MAT)?

Before you talk to your family, it’s important to understand what MAT is and how it helps. MAT combines FDA-approved medications (like buprenorphine, methadone, or naltrexone) with therapy to treat substance use disorders. It’s not about replacing one drug with another—it’s about giving your brain the stability it needs to heal so you can focus on recovery.

Common Misconceptions About MAT

Your family may have heard myths about MAT, like:

“Isn’t MAT just replacing one drug with another?”
Many people believe this, but the reality is that MAT helps stabilize brain chemistry and allows individuals to focus on long-term recovery.

“Shouldn’t you be able to quit on your own?”
Addiction is a medical condition, and just like other chronic illnesses, it often requires medical treatment. MAT provides the support needed to reduce cravings and prevent relapse.

“Are you still addicted if you’re on MAT?”
No, being on MAT under medical supervision is not the same as substance abuse. It’s a proven recovery tool that helps people regain control over their lives.
– “It’s just replacing one addiction with another.”
– “You should be able to quit on your own.”
– “You’re not really sober if you’re on MAT.”

These misconceptions come from stigma and lack of information. MAT is a medically backed treatment that increases long-term recovery success and lowers the risk of relapse.

MAT - Preparing for the Conversation

Preparing for the Conversation

1. Get Educated First

If your family has concerns, you’ll want to come prepared with facts. Read up on MAT and how it works. Some great resources include:
SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration)
National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA)
– Your treatment provider or recovery support group

2. Set the Right Tone

Anchored Tides Recovery, located in California, specializes in helping individuals navigate difficult conversations about addiction and treatment with their families. Having these discussions in a supportive and understanding environment can make all the difference.

Choose a time when everyone is calm and open to talking. Avoid starting the conversation during stressful situations or family conflicts.

3. Know What You Want to Say

Think about your main points and the outcome you want from the conversation. Maybe you want their understanding, support, or just a chance to explain your choice.

How to Address Their Concerns

“Isn’t MAT just replacing one drug with another?”

This is a common misconception. You can explain:

  • MAT reduces cravings and withdrawal symptoms so you can focus on recovery.
  • It’s closely monitored by doctors to ensure safe use.
  • It has been proven to increase recovery success rates and lower relapse risk.

“Why can’t you just quit on your own?”

  • Addiction is a disease, not a choice—like diabetes or high blood pressure, it needs medical treatment.
  • MAT is part of a long-term recovery plan, not a shortcut or an “easy way out.”

“How will this affect our family?”

  • MAT will help me stay stable and focused on rebuilding my life.
  • Your support means everything to me—it’s not about enabling but about encouraging recovery.

Encouraging Open Dialogue

Your family might have a lot of emotions—fear, frustration, confusion, or even guilt. Let them ask questions, and be patient. If they express doubt or concern, respond with calm facts and personal experience.

If you’re unsure how to approach the conversation, speaking with a specialist at Anchored Tides Recovery can provide guidance and strategies tailored to your situation. Our team is here to help you navigate these discussions with confidence and clarity.

Ways Your Family Can Support You

If your family asks, “How can we help?”—here are some ideas:

  • Learn about addiction and MAT through books, websites, or support groups.
  • Attend family therapy or support meetings (like Al-Anon or Nar-Anon).
  • Offer emotional support without judgment or pressure.
  • Encourage healthy routines like attending therapy and following a treatment plan.

What If They Don’t Support You?

Not everyone will understand or accept MAT right away, and that’s okay. Give them time and continue focusing on your recovery. Surround yourself with people who do support you, whether that’s friends, a therapist, or a recovery group.

If your family is hesitant, consider inviting them to attend a local support group or educational session on MAT. Anchored Tides Recovery can connect you with family recovery meetings, peer support groups, and professional counselors in your area who specialize in addiction recovery education. Providing them with access to the right resources can help shift their perspective over time.

Not everyone will understand or accept MAT right away, and that’s okay. Give them time and continue focusing on your recovery. Surround yourself with people who do support you, whether that’s friends, a therapist, or a recovery group.

Get the Support Today!

Talking to your family about MAT might feel tough, but honest conversations can lead to stronger support systems. Be patient, provide information, and focus on why this decision is important for your recovery. And remember—your recovery is your journey. Even if not everyone understands right away, you’re making the right choice for your health and future.

If you or a loved one is considering MAT and need guidance, Anchored Tides Recovery is here to help. Reach out today to learn more about your treatment options and how we can support you on this path to healing.

Holistic Treatments for Anxiety

Holistic Treatments for Anxiety - Anchored Tides Recovery - Orange County, CA
Holistic Treatments for Anxiety - Anchored Tides Recovery - Orange County, CA

Anxiety can feel like a storm—unpredictable, overwhelming, and hard to weather alone. It impacts not just your thoughts, but your body, energy, and sense of safety in the world. While traditional treatments like therapy and medication can be helpful, many women are seeking more personalized, natural solutions that address the root of their struggles—not just the symptoms.

That’s where holistic treatments come in. At Anchored Tides Recovery, we believe in the power of mental healthiness—a full-spectrum approach to wellness that nurtures the mind, body, and soul. If you’ve been wondering whether holistic therapy can help calm your anxiety, this guide will walk you through the what, why, and how of natural healing methods designed to restore your inner balance—especially if you’re seeking support in Orange County or the Southern California area.

What Is Holistic Treatment for Anxiety?

Holistic treatment focuses on healing the whole person rather than targeting a single symptom or diagnosis. It considers how your physical health, emotional well-being, spiritual needs, and even your environment influence your mental state.

Instead of just asking, “How do we reduce anxiety symptoms?” holistic therapy asks, “What’s out of alignment in your life, and how can we support your return to balance?”

This approach is especially powerful for women who experience layered challenges—from hormone fluctuations and trauma history to societal pressures. If you’re looking for holistic care near Orange County, we offer supportive programs designed with your whole self in mind.

🔗 Learn more about women’s mental health and support options.

Holistic Treatment - Reiki Therapy

Common Types of Holistic Therapy for Anxiety

Holistic therapy isn’t one-size-fits-all—it offers a range of tools to support your healing journey. Below are some of the most effective approaches that can help reduce anxiety naturally and holistically.

Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness involves tuning into the present moment with non-judgmental awareness. When practiced regularly, mindfulness and meditation can reduce chronic stress, lower cortisol levels, and quiet racing thoughts.

For mobile convenience, many women begin with apps like Calm, Insight Timer, or Headspace to build a daily habit.

Yoga and Breathwork

Yoga offers a physical outlet for emotional tension while helping regulate the nervous system. Breathwork (like box breathing or alternate nostril breathing) calms the body’s fight-or-flight response and restores a sense of safety.

If you’re participating in a structured program, practices like yoga and breathwork are often integrated into services like our Women’s Partial Hospitalization Program.

Nutritional Therapy & Herbal Supplements

What you eat directly affects how you feel. Nutritional therapy focuses on anti-inflammatory, whole-food diets that support brain health. Herbal remedies—such as ashwagandha, passionflower, or chamomile—may also help reduce anxiety when used under professional guidance.

Crystals and Reiki Healing

Crystals have been used for centuries for their grounding and energetic properties. Many women find relief by working with stones like amethyst, rose quartz, and black tourmaline.

🔗 Explore our guide to the best crystals for anxiety and stress.

Reiki is another gentle healing practice that helps clear blocked emotional energy and restore balance.

🔗 Learn more about Reiki therapy here.

Art, Music, and Nature Therapy

Creative expression can be incredibly healing. Whether it’s painting your emotions, dancing them out, or spending time in nature, these therapies engage your senses and help process anxiety in healthy, embodied ways.

The Benefits of Holistic Therapy for Anxiety

One of the key strengths of holistic therapy is its ability to promote long-term resilience—not just short-term relief.

When women are empowered to explore what’s underneath their anxiety, they gain:

  • Better coping skills and emotional regulation
  • A deeper sense of connection to themselves and others
  • Physical release of stress stored in the body
  • Empowerment to make choices that align with their values

Holistic therapy also teaches how to recognize and manage triggers before they spiral out of control.

🔗 Explore more on managing emotional triggers here.

Mental Healthiness and the Power of a Sound Mind

Mental healthiness isn’t just the absence of anxiety—it’s the presence of clarity, emotional strength, and self-awareness.

We often reference the phrase “power, love, and a sound mind in mental health” to describe a balanced state where a woman feels:

  • Powerful: Able to set boundaries and take up space
  • Loving: Toward herself and others
  • Sound-minded: Emotionally grounded and mentally clear

When anxiety rules the mind, it can distort your perception of reality. Holistic care helps rebuild your sense of safety and trust in yourself and the world around you.

🔗 Our Women’s Intensive Outpatient Program in Orange County offers support for building that foundation.

How to Improve Mental Health Naturally Every Day

Here are simple, mobile-friendly, daily practices to help boost mental healthiness naturally:

  • Gratitude journaling: Write three things you’re thankful for each morning.
  • Deep breathing: Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4. Repeat.
  • Nature walks: Even 10 minutes in sunlight improves your mood.
  • Limit screen time: Especially at night to help your brain wind down.
  • Sip herbal tea: Chamomile or lavender blends promote calm.
  • Self-compassion: Notice negative self-talk and replace it with gentleness.

For more structured care that supports your daily wellness, our Outpatient Program in Orange County blends clinical and holistic support for anxiety and mental health, right here in Southern California.

🔗 Explore this guide from NIMH for additional support.

Is Holistic Therapy Right for You?

Holistic therapy may be right for you if:

  • You want to heal anxiety without relying solely on medication
  • You’re seeking emotional balance and mind-body alignment
  • You’ve tried traditional therapy but want something more integrative
  • You’re ready to explore a soulful, compassionate path to healing

Holistic care empowers you to reconnect with your body, emotions, and identity—not just manage symptoms. And the journey doesn’t have to be taken alone.

Holistic Anxiety Treatment at Anchored Tides Recovery

At Anchored Tides Recovery in Orange County, CA, we offer a comprehensive and woman-centered approach to anxiety treatment. Our programs combine traditional clinical care with holistic modalities like:

  • Mindfulness and breathwork
  • Creative therapies
  • Reiki and energy healing
  • Yoga and movement-based therapy
  • Community support and trauma-informed care

If you’re ready to step into a life of mental clarity, emotional balance, and renewed purpose, and you’re seeking treatment in Southern California or nearby, you don’t have to wait.

🔗 Explore our holistic approach to addiction treatment here.

Looking for holistic anxiety therapy near you in Orange County?

Anchored Tides Recovery offers compassionate, whole-person care for women across Southern California. Reach out today and begin your healing journey.

Intensive Outpatient Programs in Orange County: What to Expect

Intensive Outpatient Programs in Orange County - What to Expect. - Anchored Tides Recovery
Intensive Outpatient Programs in Orange County - What to Expect. - Anchored Tides Recovery - Orange County

Recovery doesn’t look the same for everyone. For many women, finding a program that offers support without requiring a full-time stay is the perfect middle ground. That’s where Intensive Outpatient Programs (IOPs) come in. If you or someone you love is looking for structure, accountability, and compassionate care in Orange County, Anchored Tides Recovery offers a women-centered IOP designed to meet you where you are.

Here’s what you can expect.

What Is an Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP)?

An Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) is a structured, therapeutic treatment option for individuals struggling with addiction, mental health issues, or both—without the need for 24/7 residential care.

IOPs typically require several hours of therapy and support sessions per week, allowing you to live at home, care for family, or attend school or work while receiving consistent care.

At Anchored Tides Recovery, our IOP helps women stay anchored in their healing journey with a program that promotes independence, empowerment, and balance.

What to Expect During an IOP in Orange County

IOPs vary by provider, but at Anchored Tides Recovery, we prioritize a trauma-informed and personalized approach. Here’s a general breakdown of what you can expect:

  • Schedule: Most women attend treatment 3–5 days per week, for around 3–6 hours a day. This could include both daytime and evening options.
  • Therapies: Evidence-based treatment like CBT, DBT, and motivational interviewing; individual counseling; trauma therapy; and peer groups.
  • Supportive Services: Life skills development, relapse prevention, mindfulness practices, and family education.
  • Holistic Healing: We incorporate yoga, art therapy, and wellness routines that support mind-body healing.
  • Safe Environment: You’ll find a non-judgmental, all-women space to heal and grow—surrounded by others who understand what you’re going through.

We meet you where you are and build a plan around your specific goals.

Common Conditions Treated in IOP - mental health disorders

Common Conditions Treated in IOPs

IOPs are ideal for treating a wide range of issues, especially when co-occurring conditions are present. At Anchored Tides, we focus on:

  • Substance Use Disorders: Alcohol, opioids, benzodiazepines, and other substances
  • Mental Health Disorders: Anxiety, depression, PTSD, bipolar disorder
  • Dual Diagnosis: When addiction and mental health challenges happen together
  • Women-Specific Issues: Trauma, body image, grief, motherhood, and life transitions

Benefits of an IOP in Orange County for Women

IOP can be incredibly effective—especially for women juggling multiple responsibilities. Here’s why so many choose this level of care:

  • Flexibility: Attend treatment while managing your home life or career
  • Continuity: Step down from inpatient care without losing momentum
  • Community Support: Build friendships and accountability through group therapy
  • Holistic Approach: Heal emotionally, physically, and spiritually
  • Gender-Responsive Care: Feel seen, heard, and understood in an all-women space

Anchored Tides offers a deeply supportive IOP in Orange County that empowers women to rise, recover, and reconnect.

Signs You May Be a Good Fit for IOP

Wondering if IOP is right for you? You might benefit if:

  • You’ve completed detox or inpatient rehab and want continued support
  • You don’t need round-the-clock supervision, but still struggle
  • You want to maintain independence while working on your recovery
  • You’re committed to healing but need structure and guidance
  • You live in or near Orange County and are ready to get help

IOP can be your next step—or your first step—toward lasting wellness.

Why Choose Anchored Tides Recovery in Orange County?

We’re not just a treatment center—we’re a community of women helping women heal.

  • Women-Focused: We specialize in women’s mental health and addiction recovery.
  • Licensed Therapists: Our staff includes clinicians experienced in trauma, addiction, and holistic wellness.
  • Comfortable Environment: Our Orange County location is warm, welcoming, and designed with healing in mind.
  • Whole-Person Approach: Our IOP combines evidence-based treatment with mindfulness, movement, and creativity.
  • Support That Lasts: From your first session to long-term aftercare, we’re with you every step of the way.

What’s Next? How to Get Started

If you’re ready to take the next step, we’re here to walk it with you.

Call us for a confidential consultation, or verify your insurance online—it only takes a minute. Our admissions team is here to answer your questions, help you feel at ease, and create a plan that fits your life.

Recovery is possible. You don’t have to do it alone.

5 Steps to Leave an Abusive Relationship

Leave an Abusive Relationship

Leave an Abusive Relationship

 

We all need love and affection, so romantic relationships are one of the most important relationships we form in life. But, the romanticized dream of spending your life with someone, can have a twisted turn and become a nightmare. 

In this article, we will explain abusive relationships – what they are and their signs, how to spot abusers, and most importantly, how to leave them behind and never turn back. 

 

What is an Abusive Relationship?

An abusive relationship is a relationship where one is doing psychological, social, sexual, financial, or physical torture to the other to show and maintain power and control. 

In heterosexual abusive relationships, the abusers are predominantly males, but that is by no means a rule. One of the biggest problems in today’s domestic or relationship violence is that men are less likely to confess that they are being abused, mainly because people won’t believe them or they’re afraid of being ridiculed. That leads to a lot of unrecorded female to male abuses, thus misleading statistics. 

By modern social psychology theories, it is believed that men are more likely to abuse by causing physical and emotional pain. On the other hand, women abusers use means of psychological and social torture. Most of the time, an abusive relationship will have all of the previously mentioned contexts and not just one. 

 

Am I in an Abusive Relationship? 

The signs of an abusive relationship are: 

 

  • Psychological abuse 

Consists of the abuser calling the victim names, belittling them, making fun, giving their secrets, gaslighting, manipulating, threatening, etc.

 

  • Social torture 

Social abuse is the act of trying to turn other people against the victim, controlling the victim’s social circle, restricting their movement or freedom of choice, controlling their social media or phone/internet usage, and so on. Often, the abuser is trying to alienate the victim from their family and friends since those are the most likely to spot the abuse and stand up for the victim.

 

  • Sexual abuse

In a sexual context, the abuser can force or manipulate the victim into sexual acts that the victim doesn’t want to do. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) gives statistical data of “around 14% to 25% of women being sexually assaulted by their partners during a relationship. In abusive relationships, that number goes up to 45% of women being sexually assaulted, aside from other kinds of abuse.” 

 

  • Financial abuse

Financial abuse is consisted of taking money out of the victim; or, if they don’t work, restricting and controlling the money they use and what they use it for. It might also include restrictions about working and working hours or controlling how the victim spends their own money. 

 

  • Physical abuse

Physical abuse is the most common (and most easily noticed) type of violence. In physical abuse, the abuser is hitting, dragging, pulling, scratching, pushing, or using a weapon/tool to cause pain to the victim. 

 

How do you Spot an Abuser?

There isn’t a simple way to spot an abuser, but there are some characteristics that abusers are more likely to have. They include: 

  • Always wanting to be right
  • Having a high opinion of themselves
  • Being easily triggered 
  • Needing to control people and situations
  • Are prone to jealousy (this is not limited only to jealousy towards possible love rivals)
  • Want to belittle people

 

Screen Shot 2022 02 15 at 20.56.06

 

5 Steps to Leave an Abusive Relationship

 

Have a Support System

If you want to leave an abusive relationship, you first need to acknowledge the fact that you are actually in an abusive relationship. Since there is also psychological abuse, the victims are led to believe that the abuse is not real, that it’s their fault, that it won’t happen again, etc. 

Once you are aware that you need to leave that relationship for your good, you need a good support system. That can be friends, family, co-workers, therapists, hotlines, violence victim shelters – where ever you know you will be comfortable, but safe too. 

The Office of Women’s Health (OWH) explains that women’s shelters are free, safe, and warm places for violence survivors (and their kids) to stay. In this stage, you also might need a secret phone if you live with an abuser that is controlling and goes through your phone.

 

Make an Escape Plan

If you live together with the abuser, it’s very important to have an escape plan. The escape plan includes a date and means of leaving, a bag with necessities and clothes, important documents, cash on the side, and whatever else you think that you need. If you want to leave as soon as possible, a shelter (or a safe place with relatives) might be the best option. If you have kids, you might want to take them with you. This complicates things, so be sure that you start packing your and your kids’ bags once you are sure that you will have time to leave unhurt.

For some victims, leaving an abusive relationship includes a lot more planning. They might rent an apartment; gather evidence from the abuse to use in the future; get bus/plane tickets; make copies of important documents; and everything else they might need, depending on the situation. 

 

Stick to the plan and leave. Once and for all

This is the step of actually leaving. And leave the abusive relationship for good. The psychological abuse often goes to the extent that the victim is manipulated into trusting or pitying their abuser. This is usually accompanied by excuses like “he/she still loves me”, “he/she didn’t mean it”, ”It won’t happen again”, “I can change him/her”, “he/she will kill me or himself/herself”…

 

Stay safe with close and reliable people

Once you leave, it’s important not to tell a lot of people where you stay. This is a safety measure since a lot of abusers won’t easily let their victims go. They want to control and feel in power, and once the victim doesn’t comply, their rage increases. With that, chances of even bigger abuse increase too. 

If you are scared for your safety or think that your abuser might find you, make sure that you get a restraining order against them. If they appear, do call the police and don’t hesitate. Making a firm stance against your abuser is the first step towards them giving up.

 

Get Therapy or Counseling 

Abusive relationships are very damaging for the individual. They leave long-lasting stress, anxiousness, fear, uncertainty, low self-esteem, bad picture of the self, among other things. Sometimes, they might even leave physical scars. If you want to take the control back and remember that relationship as the event that turned you into a strong warrior, you can use the help of a therapist. 

 

Getting Professional Help

An abusive relationship is one where one person is trying to maintain control and power over the other, usually through physical, psychological, social, sexual, or financial abuse. For the victim to leave, they should have a support system of friends and institutions, have an escape plan and stick to it, go to a safe place, take any legal measures (if needed) and visit a therapist who can help with the long-lasting psychological effects.

If you or someone you know is struggling with abuse, or want to leave an abusive relationship or addiction, or looking for a supportive group of women in Orange County, California, call 866-600-7709 and talk to a member of the Anchored Tides Recovery team. 

Stigmas of Mental Health and Addiction

Mental Health and Addiction

Mental Health and Addiction

 

The stigmas of mental health and addiction are entirely unwarranted, based on what we know scientifically about both. There was a time when we knew little about mental health disorders or addiction. Due to that lack of knowledge, there was often a misconception that you were weak or lacked morals if you were experiencing these conditions.

Unfortunately, those concepts were also associated with many mental health conditions and addiction. These misconceptions stopped society’s progress in understanding these are diseases. As with other chronic diseases, mental health disorders require evidence-based treatment.

When you learn more about substance use disorder, it can help you break down the stigmas you may personally feel still exist. Breaking down stigmas on an individual level can help you realize it’s okay to seek help. 

If you aren’t personally struggling with addiction or behavior disorders. Still, your loved one is, you can be a more effective support system for them when you learn more about the disease of addiction or a mental illness.

 

Why Do Stigmas Exist?

Chemical dependency or an addiction to substances is a chronic brain disease. When you have a substance abuse disorder, your brain compels you to seek out and use a substance.

  • From the early 1800s, we know there was a harmful view taken on substance abuse and mental illness, although it likely started well before then. We have more records of how people with these disorders were described in places like medical literature from later periods.
  • For example, by the early 1900s, people with alcohol addictions were described as moral inferiors. Their children were called born criminals, who couldn’t determine right from wrong.
  • In 1914, there was the passage of legislation called the Harrison Anti-Narcotic Act. Addiction was criminalized, as were physicians who worked to treat substance use disorders.
  • Even in more modern times, the stigma of addiction and mental health has been reinforced. For example, in the 1970s the so-called War on Drugs started. There wasn’t a focus on treatment or rehabilitation, nor was addiction viewed as a disease. Instead, the war on drugs led to furthering criminalization of addiction. The results weren’t favorable, with the number of people going to jail for drug-related crimes have gone up enormously in the past few decades.

Recognizing these stigmas exist is one part of moving forward and away from these damaging viewpoints.

 

The Effects of Drugs and Alcohol on the Brain

When you use drugs or alcohol, dopamine floods your brain. That dopamine hijacks your reward system. Because of the effects on your reward system, you want to continue seeking out the substance that initially made you feel good.  You may know there are negative consequences or that it’s not healthy, but you can’t stop.

  • Your brain adjusts to the use of the substance through the development of tolerance.
  • When your tolerance rises, you need larger doses of the substance to feel the same way.
  • Your brain’s function and structure can be profoundly affected. 
  • You’re also eventually unable to experience pleasure from healthy, everyday activities.

There are decades of research work that demonstrate the reality of substance use. When you’re addicted to drugs or have an alcohol addiction, it’s not because you’re morally weak, lack willpower, or don’t want to stop.

Many people use recreational drugs or alcohol and never become addicted. Most people don’t. When you first use a substance, you don’t think you will develop an addiction. No one does.

Researchers have identified some of the key area’s addiction effects in the brain.

  • Dopamine-containing pathways are the ones we know are most significantly affected.
  • Short-term drug or alcohol use may cause minor effects in the brain.
  • Long-term use causes significant brain changes that reinforce an alcohol or drug habit, like strengthening memory circuits associated with drug-taking. 
  • For years after someone stops taking drugs or alcohol, the brain changes can continue. That continuation is why addiction is a chronic, relapsing disease.

That doesn’t mean you’ll absolutely relapse with drug addiction or alcohol use disorders, but it does mean addiction requires treatment with relapse prevention in mind.

 

Understanding the Reasons for Stigma

Mental disorders and addiction often go hand-in-hand. These are co-occurring disorders.

People with mental illness are unlikely to get help for their condition, just like people with substance use disorders. Not getting help is very often due to the stigma or discrimination they worry they’ll experience.

There are different types of stigma that can affect you.

  • Public stigma involves other people’s negative attitudes about mental illness or addiction. 
  • Then, there’s self-stigma, which is internalized shame you may feel.
  • Institutional stigma is systemic and may mean you have limited opportunities because of your addiction or mental health issue. For example, there may be fewer treatment options for physical health conditions or less access to treatment. Even health insurance companies reinforce this stigma. Health insurance issuers can make accessing mental health benefits and addiction disorder services harder. 
  • Stigma can affect someone personally dealing with addiction or a mental illness. Stigma can also affect their families and loved ones.
  • Culturally, stigma may be a significant issue too. For example, there’s an even greater stigma about accessing addiction or mental health treatment or seeing mental health counselors in some cultures. There can also be distrust in treatment systems, including mental health & addiction services. 

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The Consequences of Stigma

In mental health and addiction, arguably the most significant consequence of stigma is barriers to substance use treatment. Addiction is a treatable disease. 

With successful treatment programs, you can manage symptoms and start your life in recovery.

You can retain your sense of control and live a self-directed life. Unfortunately, if you’re embarrassed or feel shame about your situation, you’re much less likely to seek help at treatment facilities or a mental health facility. 

  • You may worry about what people think about you, but addiction is a chronic, progressive disease. 
  • A progressive illness worsens over time, and more complications can develop.
  • Other mental health disorders like anxiety and depression can also progress without treatment. This worsening of addiction and mental health disorders can contribute to a behavioral health crisis. 
  • The effects of stigma include low self-esteem, more difficulties at school or work, and a reduced sense of hope.

Stigma can lead to social isolation, bullying or violence, or the belief that you can’t do anything to improve your situation, reinforcing the idea that you shouldn’t get behavioral health care. 

 

Addiction Treatment

We want to emphasize again that addiction is a disease and a treatable one. However, it’s nearly impossible to overcome a substance use disorder simply by deciding you want to stop. Treatment often includes a combination of therapy and medication.

Treatment and recovery have challenges, but you’ll find it’s worth it.

The opioid crisis has brought to our attention the effects of stigma in addiction services and mental health care more than ever. Tens of thousands of people are needlessly dying annually, in large part due to stigma. 

Our goal is always to reduce these effects. Anchored Tides Recovery helps people with addictions and their loved ones learn more about substance use and overcome it. To learn more about mental health and addiction services, please call 866-600-7709. We can provide you with information about the addiction recovery process for a substance use disorder.